The day before...

.....my weigh in. One of these days, i hope, the "day-before-weigh-in" won't be such a stupid, big deal for me. It's like i'm being graded on my ability to stay on the program, not taking into account anything else. I guess weigh in day IS kinda like that, but dang, does it have to be? Can't i just look at it like just a day on my journey to get healthy? I need to just focus on:

BABY STEPS

and EXERCISE

I keep telling myself that my weight didn't come on all at one time and that i shouldn't expect it to fall off all at one time. I also keep telling myself to stop comparing myself to my friend, Melinda, who has been on the program longer than i have and has already lost 20 pounds. While all of these things are stuff that i tell myself, these are also the type of things that i hear whispered in my ear:


~"Are you loosing fast enough? Maybe you're not going to loose...."

~"Do you REALLY think that YOU are going to loose this weight?!?! HA!"

~"You ONLY lost 1.6 pounds this week. So-and-so lost 3 POUNDS!"

~"You might as well go head and eat that. You're never going to loose that weight."

~"I bet you're still the fattest woman here..."

~"You are TOO old to get healthy! You're 45 for heaven's sake!"

~"You'll be ChubbyMommy FOREVER!"


I have to work on this kinda crap. There is no room for this kind of negative talk in my life. No room at all. It's not even any where near being helpful to hear these things...what bothers me, too, is that i would NEVER speak to a friend like this. I would offer encouragement, hugs, cheer them on and love on them. On me, however, i take great glee in beating me up.

I have to work on this.

And the sooner, the better.