It's now September 27th, late in the evening. My last post was August 9th.
Nothing has changed since August the 9th.
Instead of doing something, ANYTHING, i've done nothing. Nothing to change me for the better. Nothing to move me one step forward. Nothing to make me take action. I have done nothing but well, think. And all that has done is truly made my head hurt.
Try this way of eating...no, try that way of eating. Oh, try this way of walking. Nah, don't try that; do this instead. I know, lets read a BOOK on how to eat like a caveman/cavewoman. Because, you know, we are still in caveman times. Eat meat. Eat veggies. Eat beans. No, take that back: NO meat and NO beans. No sugar of any kind. What? Fruit sugar? Okay, just a little. I have an idea! Let's go vegan!! Nah, that's insane, i can't be a vegan. Can i maybe be a semi-vegan? Is there such a thing? I'll goggle it. Maybe i should go back to Weight Watchers. I did well there. But is that going to work again? Will a bear crap in the woods?
And on, and on and....on.
While all of this back and forth is going on, i do nothing.
I am full of progress, aren't i?
I am full of something, but it's not progress.
Meanwhile, my 12/14's pants are so snug that i can barely stand it. One would figure that would spring my chubby butt into some kind of action. But no, it hasn't. I just continue to talk to myself:
"You are such a fat @ss!"
"You will always be this way, you know...."
"You will never, ever change, will you?!?"
"How can you teach your daughter to eat well and be healthy if you eat like a pig?"
Yeah.
I'm not the nicest person to myself. I don't even think i know how to be nice to myself.
I'm sad. I'm discouraged. I'm disappointed. I'm, oh, i don't know what i am.
I am off to read and lose myself in a book....
