The view...

...here is amazing.

Even if one is chubby, it is still a beautiful view.

Something to look.....

...forward to! We are headed to the beach at the end of the month again for a week. I am so excited that i can't stand it. I love the beach. I love how i feel when i'm there, listening to the ocean and feeling the sand on my toes. It's been a difficult few weeks for me and i'm ready for the beach.

I recently started a class at the church with Restore Ministries. It has been the hardest class i've ever taken. The class is with about 8/10 other women, who i am shocked to say this, are a lot like me. I thought that i was the only person who felt the way i did about myself and to find out that i have a lot of company, while comforting, is bothersome. There are 4 professional women in the class, 3 Mommies and a mixture of the others. The class is called "Journey to Freedom", which is the title of the book we are using by Scott Reall. The book is utterly fantastic, horrifying, amazing, and scary to read. Basically, it's a book about how to start a lifetime of Hope, Health and Happiness.

I was shocked to discover that i have pretty much lost all hope in changing.

I wasn't surprised that i don't totally depend on God. I, it seems, like to invite God into my life where it suits me and where i think He needs to be.

Shocked to learn that fear holds me back.

Shocked to learn that i don't feel that i a worth fixing.

I think that there are two classes left. I am now working on my "action" plan for change.

I know.

I know.

But i have a little sliver of hope that i am learning the tools that i need to do this. I have learned that this is about "training" and not "trying". Training versus trying is the key to success.

Of course, i'm going to be working on my weight.

There are other things that will be worked on at the same time. Apparently the key is the process of lasting change is to balance the spirit, mind and body. These three things need to be brought together in a type of harmony.

The other thing i learned?

That i can't do this alone.

"All through the Bible, God directly speaks to us about fear. Over and over He reminds us, "Be of great courage, do not be afraid!" Even when i am walking through the valley of the shadow of death, He tells me not to be afraid because He IS WITH ME. The psalmist say in the Bible "I am about to fall, but Lord, your love kept me safe." God is FOR us and NOT against us.

And so, a journey is spirit is in order, too...

Much, much more later...