And some days....

...when i'm barely hanging on, this is what i hang on to.

Today, is one of those days.

Oddly, i know the good in my life. And i'm thankful for it. But some days, i find myself wanting not to hang on because it feels like it is too hard to hang on. I want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head, and pretend that i don't exist, that i have evaporated into air. That i don't have to fight the fight to be strong, healthy or better. That i can just be in nothing-ness...

This type of thinking doesn't last long....usually because a small, cute toddler will want to see if i'm 'sweeeping' and make me smile. And i will sigh to myself, thankful for the health that i do have, thankful for this toddler who makes me view the world in a better light, and i will slowly, pull myself from under those covers and start the day with her.

I will also make myself remember that there are so many folks out in the world who would love to have my chubby legs to stand on, my eyes to see, my chubby belly that means i have enough to eat, my chubby arms that can hug my child and husband. I will make myself remember this all day long.

Because i am blessed, chubby-ness and all.