Temper

One of the things i try not to do is yell and lose my temper at my little daughter. I still remember how it felt to be yelled at at a young age (it's a Spanish thing, i think....we yell and forgive in the time span of 5 seconds) and it felt horrible to have someone so much bigger than me yell at me.

I lost my temper about an hour ago at my little daughter.

She is sleeping now, hands tucked under her little chin like she is saying her prayers.

I feel horrible.

Why did i lose my temper?

I was folding laundry in the bedroom and i heard some noises coming from the kitchen. My little snack monster had gotten into the little bags of cookies, which to be honest with you, i shouldn't have in this house anyway. The little bags of cookies are the perfect size for her to have as a treat for after school with a glass of milk though. I think that maybe what i'm upset about: i am using cookies as a 'treat' for her. You know, "if you have a good day at school, you can have a treat!" kinda thing.

Of course, truth be told, i'm upset with myself and not her....

I desperately don't want her to have my eating habits. I don't want sugar to be considered a 'food' group for her. I don't want her to think of food as 'treats'. I want her to see food as i wish i could see it: fuel for our bodies. Somewhere along the line, i started seeing food as the reason for everything. Need to celebrate? Let's get great food! Holiday? Let's get great food! Are we sad? Let's get great food! Are we happy? Hooray! Let's get lots of great food.

I don't want her to be like me.

I don't want food to be her friend.