Reading.....

...yet another book to try and understand why i am the way i am.

As if the answer can be found in a book?

At this point, i'll look anywhere...even in a book.

The book i'm reading now is called "Hungry" by Allen Zadoff. He hit 350 pounds at 28 years old and started the next many years doing the dieting dance. He's funny...and does have some insight. But, his insights are sometimes scary.

I'm on the "Red, Yellow, Green" chapter. I'm suppose to make a list of my "Red" foods, which are foods i can't handle. Basically that means that i am to list any foods that i can't stop eating once i start.

"Red Foods":
~Anything chocolate
~Cake/Cupcakes, Muffins
~Candy
~Doughnuts
~Toasted Sourdough bread with butter
~Sodas
~Oreos
~Cereal (especially sugary ones....)
~Bagels (toasted with Cream Cheese...)

Behaviors i can't handle are next. These are the behaviors that cause me to make bad choices, overeat, etc.

"Red Behaviors":
~being anxious?
~getting nervous or stressed?

"Yellow Foods":
~Ice Cream
~Sandwiches like Grilled Cheese
~Potato chips/chips in general
~Steak

"Green Foods":
~Spinach
~Veggies (all...)
~Chicken
~Fruit

Great, here's the bad part of this "Traffic Light" scenario.

"Think of this list like your own personal food traffic light. Green foods are always "go". Yellow foods mean "caution". And red foods and behaviors stop you dead in your tracks."

And it gets worse...

"Ignore the traffic signals and you risk accident and injury. You speed up when you see a yellow. If it's late at night and nobody is looking, especially a police officer, you may just run the red light or drive up on the sidewalk."

sigh...yeah, i would run a red light for a doughnut or two. And i would probably drive on the sidewalk if i was anxious enough.

If you're a 'food junkie', you must abstain from your red light foods and behaviors.

And guess what, folks?

I'm pretty dang sure that i'm a food junkie like this guy.

Doesn't it suck that my favorite foods are on the red list and my not-so-favorite foods are on the green list?

I still have some way to go on this book....but i do see it. I get anxious, i grab a red light food....and there i go, eating my weight in whatever poison i have in my grubby little hand.

So.....if i take away being anxious, being a nervous ball of fluff, take away the red light foods....

....maybe i have a chance at being normal. Whatever that is.

It is an interesting concept, though and one that i've never considered.

Off to read more...