....i weighed this morning. I wanted to throw-up. I logged it on the side of this blog. And i really wasn't surprised at what the huge @ss number was. Okay, i was a little surprised...or maybe it was that i was a little horrified. As of this morning, December 29, 2009, i weighed in at 199.4 lbs. Isn't that the size of a small elephant? I am only .6 away from 200 lbs. I swore that i would NEVER, EVER, EVER be in the 200s again. At my highest weight of 249 lbs, i swore that when i lost this weight, i would never be one to move back up the ladder in weight again. That i would be different.
Ummm. Sure. I'm different, alright. No more of the holiday crap, that's for sure.
I've thought about my goals. I could make a list of them a mile long....really. But for today, for this week, i am going to drink water. I am going to drink my 'recommended' amount of 8 glasses of water. I'll add to my weekly goal list next week; perhaps if i approach it this way, i won't be so willing to chuck in the towel when i get upset/anxious/insane.
I do need to figure out a date to reach goals, i think. And i need to more my cute, fluffy self to the Y very soon. I'll be going alone, but you know, this journey, to a certain extent, is done alone, so i'll deal with it. I'll just still be "the fat girl in the back of the class" where i feel like i am part of the wall. But i promise myself, i won't be there in the back of the class forever....not this time. I will be at that TOPS meeting on Thursday come hell or high water; i may have to force myself to go, i may have to force myself to get out of my car and walk into that meeting, but i'll be there. I'll be there and i'm not going to miss ANY of those meetings. Period.
Off to feed the little one, dig out and do more laundry and work on my goal list.
I can do this, right?
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