Thoughts.....

Pickles, my walking buddy
It's almost 3am and i can't sleep. We ate out last night at Martin's BBQ and for me, although it was yummy, it was a huge mistake. I really can't do the eat-out thing anymore unless i am going to eat something clean. It just isn't worth it. My stomach feels like lead. This revelation is a hard one for me as i love to go out to eat. While we really have slowed down eating out, it was really a fun treat to do with my little family. I guess i really need to realize that spending time with my little crew is important, not eating out...

I am taking a diabetic class later on this morning. It's going to be an all-day affair with lots of learning the do's and the don'ts of how my life will now be. How i'll be eating, preparing meals, learning to use my nifty, new meter, and things that are important for diabetics to know. I had to stop reading on my online research; diabetes effects so many things in your body. That shouldn't really be a surprise as i know that everything in your body is suppose to work together so if one part is sick, well, other parts will follow if you don't make changes. I am actually looking forward to taking this class because i feel like i don't know enough to deal with my health right now.

One of the questions on the intake questionnaire is "How do you feel about your health?"

My answer?

Angry.

Angry because it is my fault and if i had cared more about my health, i wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't be diabetic. I wouldn't have high blood pressure. I wouldn't have high cholesterol. I wouldn't have protein in my urine (still not sure what THAT means). I wouldn't be overweight. I thought i would just ignore my health, because, really, what could happen to me? (This is otherwise known as the "Head-In-The-Sand" approach....)

I know, my reasoning is something to behold, isn't it?

After all, if i don't take care of myself, how will i be around to take care of my husband and little daughter?

Pickles and i are now walking buddies. We walk Emma to her bus stop every morning (and continue to walk once the bus leaves) and then we walk to her bus stop to pick her up every afternoon (we leave early from the house to get our walk in before the bus shows up). It has done both Pickles and i good to walk together....she really is a great dog and exercise is good for her, too. The kids at the bus stop love to pet her and Emma giggles when they line up to get on the bus and Pickles lines up with them as if she is getting on the bus, too. Twice a day, i walk Pickles. I know that i will need to incorporate more exercise than just walking Pickles, but i am proud of the fact that i have started with walking which i have always enjoyed.

I really should get a bit more sleep as it's going to be a long day....