Well then.....

...progress has been made.

I am now at 198.6

How sad that a good number on the scale makes me feel better about myself?

Something else to work on...the scale numbers should not determine how i feel about myself.

Perhaps it's because i drink so much water now that i could float away? And since i now make water my drink of choice, it surprises me that i have developed a thirst for water. My old favorites are too 'sweet' and don't quench my thirst. Lets totally forget that over the years, i've read at least a million times about how that happens when you drink water. I guess better late than never that i finally proved this to myself, yes?

I like that my clothes are loose.

I hate that i can never seem to get enough sleep.

A Crossfit gym has just opened up down the road from where we live.

I know, i can't see me doing it, either.....but the gentleman i spoke to on the phone when i called about it tells me that i can and to give it a try before i decide that i can't do it. He tells me that he has others my age and my weight that are making changes to their body and for me to check it out.

I hate that i think i can't do thinks because i am fat.

I hate that i let this kind of thinking rule my life.

I really need to tell the little voice that whispers thees things to me to shut the hell up and go away.

I hate that i don't love me like i love others.

I hate that i feel not worthy.

How does God love me when i feel so un-worthy of His love?

Time to drink more water....i am thirsty.

Again.