Oy....

Dear Emma's 4th Birthday Cake,

You may have won today, but i have learned my lesson. No longer will i make a birthday cake that is to stay in our home without supervision. No longer will i keep the cake in the house after we have ONE piece. No longer will i pretend that i am stronger than you are. You may be stronger right now, but i now have a plan.

I have a plan and i refuse to let you destroy the path that i am now on.

I hope to be stronger than you one day. So, dear birthday cake, you are on notice.

I may have lost today, but you won't get me again.

Second Weigh In....

....was today. After the cookie episode yesterday, i was a little worried, but i lost 1.2 pounds. I am actually enjoying the meetings that i attend. I was able to speak to some of the other women who were waiting to weigh-in and it is bothersome to me that being overweight is such a common problem for so many. What is it about us that makes us different? Is it our brain-wiring? Are we just sugar addicts? And the biggest question of all:

Can we get to a healthy weight and stay there?

We talked about re-doing our kitchens today and how to make sure that the healthy stuff makes it into our homes and the not-so-healthy stuff stays away. We also talked about eating out of bags; not a good idea. I'm on the lookout for a scale, which is hard for me to believe. Really? Me? Weigh my food?

Yes. Me. Weigh my food.

This little piggy is serious this time...

Valentine's Day

...didn't turn into the disaster that it usually does. I did eat a chocolate chip cookie and a sugar cookie, but other than that, i stayed where i needed to stay. The urge, however, to find a box of chocolate and eat the entire thing was huge, though. I don't know why i think of stuff like that...i know it's not healthy, i know that it's not part of the plan. Yet, like a nightmare, i daydreamed about eating a whole box of chocolate. What does that say about me??

Now, then, if i can just stay away from the "After-Valentine's Day Sales" i'll really be a hero~

Almost crash...

...that was very narrowly avoided. In fact, it was almost a disaster of horrid proportions.

I love pizza. It is one of my loves. Seriously, i would eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner if possible. It's a deep love, folks.

Tonight, my dear husband decided that we should order pizza, like we usually perhaps, once every two weekends. To say that i look forward to this is an understatement. I eat at least 3/4 pieces...the place that we order from makes pizza that is magic.

As soon as he said that he was going to order, i felt my insides scream a blood curling scream. Was he insane? Me and pizza in the same house? I would win and the pizza would be destroyed. Period.

In a panic, i ran to my book with the points listed. Five points per slice of pizza.

I had 12 points left in my day....

All of a sudden, i heard these words come out of my mouth:


"I can do this, and i'll be okay."

I drank almost three glasses of water before the pizza showed up.

I ate my two pieces of pizza with a glass of Diet Coke, feeling like i was in heaven.

What is left of that pizza is outside in the other frig and won't be eaten by me.

I CAN DO THIS, AND I WILL BE OKAY!!

Different, yet the same....

...is how i've been feeling the past day or so. "Different" in that my new habits seem to be growing on me, "the same" in the that i would like nothing better that a large slice of chocolate cake and struggle with that. I wonder if it will always be that struggle, of wanting to shovel sweets into my mouth, hand over fist, or if i will learn to crave different, healthy things?

I don't know.

But what i do know, is right now, that struggle continues.

Different, though, has been a pleasant surprise. I feel better. Not so sluggish, not so ready to take naps. I get up and i'm usually good. I've limited my Diet Coke crack-like need and substituted water and that's lead to some headaches, which didn't surprise me. Fruit has been a huge live saver for me...huge. I'm liking this new WW program.

It is the weekend, so there's grocery shopping to do, eating plans to figure out and play-time with the tot.

Note on the tot and husband: They will eat what i will eat. If i cook it, they will eat it. They are eating my fruit, my chocolate puddings, my healthy snacks. A great thing as we can all learn from this way of eating...and incorporate it into our lives as "the" way to eat.

Update more later...

Day 8- Snow Day!

....not that it makes a difference that it's a snow day or not, as my eating plan is the same. But, i felt the need for a sun-lovin' flower photo today as it's really so very cold outside. Which means that the tot and i are stuck inside...

Not a good thing as the food is here, too.

I've done really well at staying on track. I do feel like i'm waiting for the other shoe to fall and i'll eat an entire cake or gallon of ice cream. Needless to say, neither of those things are ANY where near this home of mine! The fact that fruit and veggies are point-free is huge for me this time around. I can have those bananas or strawberries that i love so much and not have to worry about points. Those fruits give me tons of happy moments...and allow me to have something sweet when i need it.

Another life-savor has been Hunts ff Chocolate Puddings. I don't even need to add the ff scoop of Cool Whip...that pudding is so de-lish. Again, it's a treat and it's chocolate. Need i say more?

Tonight i'm making the Sloppy Joe's again. This recipe is already a favorite and will be a stand-in, i'm sure. I'm also going to look into some soup recipes. I so love soup, especially when it's as cold as it's been.

Off to cook...

The First Weigh In

Well, here are the results of my first weigh-in. I lost 3.6lbs.

Just to show you how i'm never happy, i was disappointed that i didn't loose five pounds.

It was a good first week.

I'm really doing this, aren't i?